I’ve been working on my ethical will lately. This is something that has nothing to do with money. It’s far more important.

An ethical will is your legacy. It incorporates what you’ve learned over your life and the values that you’ve cultivated that you want to pass on to your children and their children. Basically, it’s to bequeath an account of the values and ideas closest to one’s heart.

For me, I want to pass on a love of learning. That is something that has sustained me throughout my life. It rescued me during my deepest darkest moments and helped me to turn devastating circumstances into tremendous success.

I also want to pass on a connection to our Jewish faith. Throughout all the ups and downs, this kept me grounded and gave our family continuity and stability.

As part of my ethical will, I have special words for my family:

To My Children, Marian, Stephen and Beth:

I have loved watching you grow, I have loved the mystery of seeing you each unfold, as adults, as spouses, as parents, as professionals.  I know it wasn’t all peaches and cream, but it seems like that today and even the problems and concerns were essential to that mystery and joy which never end.

What can I say to you now, at this stage of life?  What legacy can I give you?  You have already realized all that I would wish for you, productive interesting lives, families, children that are grown, working, committed to what they are doing.  These are the things I would wish for you and you have accomplished them all.  I am so proud of you.

To My Children-in-law, George Anne, and John. 

The three of you are such a part of me and my idea of immediate family.

Not only have you enriched my life but you have enriched the lives of my children, the particular person you were married to.  Together, you George and Marian, and Anne and Steve, and Beth and John have been wonderful parents, bringing up your children with the values that result in adult lives that are creative, industrious, and moral.  We are indeed lucky that life has brought us all together.

To my grandchildren:

You are my legacy.

You are just beginning your adult lives and you already exhibit all the values, industry, and care that I think are my legacy and the values I care about.  I think the hardest part of contemplating my own death is the idea that I won’t be around to see how you all turnout.  You have done pretty well up to now—no complaints—and my legacy to you is that you find people to love and find work that is your passion.  And that you will find something to give to the next generation, either children of your own, or some gift to the world.

No one has everything, there are always problems and I, certainly, have had my share.  My legacy to you all, I hope, is to find the resiliency and resourcefulness to resolve and deal with those problems, illness, and money, whatever life brings to you—find a way to go on with life and not dwell on something that cannot be changed.