Bits and Pieces of Being Older

 Suddenly, at least it seems suddenly, I am a member of a new generation, an older generation who is living longer, longer than my grandparents, longer than my mother and father, longer than anyone I ever knew, even longer than my younger siblings. 

I don’t really feel old, whatever feeling old means. To me it is a great big mystery.  Before this time of life, I had many roles, a wife, a career, a parent, a friend.  There doesn’t seem to be any rules or roles for this stage of life.  Some people believe older people have wisdom.  But what is wisdom?  Is it simply living longer that makes one wise?

I have more questions than answers.

What is ageism?  It is the descriptor that chronological age is what it is all about and that this stage of life is about decline and loss.  It is not the truth, it is a stereotype because people of any age are different from one another.  Like sexism and racism, ageism is prejudice. 

Am I Growing Old?

Now, I am walking seventy laps rather than one hundred.  I swim thirty laps when I used to swim seventy.  Should I keep trying to keep up with the earlier days?  Growing older means thinking about mortality, my mortality, and that is so difficult.

I decided to make a Rosh Hashanah dinner again.  So many people are not here, Kay and Don, Hy and Sheila and we will miss them.  I have done it for at least forty years.  This year Rosh Hashanah was a bit different because some of the people who came every year did not and people who had never joined us before came.  It was wonderful, the feelings of community, of different generations talking together.  We talked about hope and the problems of our country.  I know I won’t be here in ten years so I might as well do it now.  Everyone loved being here together but we missed the ones who were not. 

Two grandchildren are getting married next year.  Will I make it?  Will I dance at their weddings? 

A New Horizon

What is ageism?  It is the descriptor that chronological age is what it is all about and that this stage of life is about decline and loss.  It is not the truth, it is a stereotype because people of any age are different from one another.  Like sexism and racism, ageism is prejudice.       

Each morning I get up and think, “well what will it be today?”  What new adventure?  What part of my body will echo the years gone past, the running, swimming, and long hikes?  

At this stage of life, there is so much freedom—to do whatever I want to do and can afford, to go to the movies, meet friends for dinner, join a club, a group, a class, teach a class.  My options are infinite; I just have to imagine what I want to do. what I can do.  This is the last phase, I will try to do my best.