Dear Marian and Beth,

Life has its ups and downs.  We all go through periods of joy and satisfaction and then there are the downs, low points, sometimes even a crisis. That is what happened to me when I was thirty-seven.  It was the third night I was alone after the divorce.  Marian, you were nine and Beth, you were three.  Stephen was  eight.  Beth, you got really sick, 104 fever and at two o’clock in the morning full of worry I called the doctor. He said put you in a warm tub until your temperature goes down.  I did and your temperature did go down, but the worry didn’t leave right away.  Finally, when you were sleeping, I lay in bed and went over and over what was going on in my life.

That night alone with the three of you, I realized a phase of my life was over.  I had to take responsibility.  I had to take care of the divorce, protect myself and you, pay the bills, fix what was wrong in our dilapidated but wonderful l920’s house, make decisions, run a household, be two parents.  There was no one to help.  I had to earn a living, raise three children, take care of the squirrels in the roof, maintain the lawn, and call the plumber.  I started to accept it all and determined that what I didn’t know, I would learn.  And that way, the  nightmare turned into a force that helped me grow, change, and find adventure in life.

It is always good to remember that nightmares can become a rebirth.

Love,

Mom